A Ring by Spring
After a long, rainy winter, the spring warmth and sun has arrived.
Flowers are blooming all around. On trees, on hills overlooking our freeways, in my garden. Tulips and daffodils smile brightly at grocery stores, and we buy them for Easter parties.
This spring for me has been busy because the start of the season usually corresponds with the most important week of our church calendar—Holy Week.
But being the luckiest mother in the whole world, my in-laws flew in from Boston and took care of our kids (and even whisked them away to LEGOLAND for two days) so I could focus on Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Sunday…
By the way, a digression about this.
Maybe it’s my introverted self speaking but I truly can think of no harder task than raising children, especially young children. It’s a never-ending-around-the clock-job, even if the kids are in school full-time. Because, when they’re at school, we have to be as efficient as possible knowing that very little can get done once we pick them up. But goodness, having those extra set of hands and eyes upon our two kids not only helps me and my husband labor-wise, it fills our hearts to see our kids receive such an abundance of love.
Last week, while my in-laws were visiting, I picked up the kids and brought them home. My husband was busily finishing up a project so he could squeeze in a workout before dinner. I was cleaning up and organizing our house after our packed Easter weekend. As I walked from one side of the house to the other side of the house and back again putting clothes way, folding up chairs, taking out the trash, I passed my son playing a card game of War with his grandpa on the kitchen table. In the background, I heard my daughter giggling with her grandmother, my daughter making water cakes in the bathtub and her grandmother engaging in her imaginative play while sitting next to her on the bathroom tiles.
The kids, while normally would be demanding my husband’s and my attention and hurt that we could only provide it to them in fragments, were brimming with joy. There was so much joy throughout the entirety of my in-laws’ stay with us. Many of you know that we already live with my own parents but they still work full-time and James and I are scrupulous in protecting their privacy and rest time. Even still, our kids receive a ton of attention from my parents so when my in-laws are here, the love they receive is overflowing.
Another thing I’ve been surprised to learn as a parent (besides how inexplicably helpful it is to have the support of grandparents) is how happy it makes me to see my kids so happy.
Back to spring.
Sometimes, as a minister, I feel a divide within me at the onset of the spring season. Two separate cultural messages pull me in opposite directions. On the one hand, spring is cheerful, filled with candy and Easter baskets.
On the other hand, I’m journeying with Jesus to his eventual death and what that means for me and my congregation.
There is one central theme, however, amongst these two cultural poles—and that is, renewal. In both cases, the one in broader society and the one in my church life, this season is about something dead coming back alive; something hopeless being revitalized.
What’s something you want to renew in your life this season?
Take a moment to reflect upon that question.
Fortunately, not much is dire for me in this moment of my life (though I should note that this hasn’t always been in the case in other years of my life. So, I’m grateful.). My career, family life, marriage, relationships, health are all vital with vibrant, beating hearts.
So, the response to that question doesn’t need to be dramatic. There can be small buds of possibility ready to blossom. Look close and pay attention.
At this moment of my life, here’s what renewal means to me:
Reorganizing and decluttering my home
Refreshing my wardrobe. After living in sweaters and leggings for the past few months, I’m craving colorful dresses.
A haircut!
More outdoor time with my family (at the beach, hiking, bike rides, etc.)
Cultivating more leaders within my congregation and developing stronger ministry teams
Being more regular in my writing practice
I turn this question back to you dear friends:
What’s something (or the many somethings) you want to renew in your life this season?
…
All this said, there is one thing that is brand spanking new in my life. And that is my wedding band.
A bit of backstory.
I met my husband at Yale Divinity School, where we dated for about two and a half years before we got engaged. So, I did indeed get my ring my spring ;) However, we were both students at the time and that meant he was working off a student salary. For my engagement ring, he scrounged up what he could for an adorable hand-crafted ring from a little jewelry boutique. I treasured this ring and everything it symbolized.
For our wedding bands, my parents gave us their simple pure gold wedding bands that they no longer wore, my mom opting to wear her diamond ring and my dad disliking the feeling of wearing any kind of jewelry on his body. I chose to make the gold band my permanent daily band because it was so low-maintenance and I liked the way it looked on me. In fact, my friends who received flashier engagement rings loved the way I wore my simple gold band and ended up buying and wearing one of those instead!
Despite my love and appreciation for both my engagement ring and wedding band, neither of them were my dream ring style. I didn’t bemoan this or hang this over my husband. I just took a mental note of this and went about my life. I also never really considered changing my wedding band, coming to enjoy the classiness of my gold band.
Then, on one random afternoon last month, I walked into our town jewelry store. I walk past this store weekly and never, ever think to pop in. But on that afternoon, I, for no other reason than I felt relaxed and whimsical, decided to entertain myself by looking at pretty things.
And there it was. The ring I always wanted, my exact style. I had never seen anything like it before so I didn’t know what my style was until I saw it. It was still subtle but elegant. The band was rose gold with scalloped edges. It was sprinkled with small, sparkling diamonds. Back at home later that day, I mentioned this to James.
Several weeks later on Easter morning, we had a festive and full Easter morning at church. We returned home and settled in and James told me there was an Easter egg hidden in our bed…
I gasped. There were tears.
Since then, I have not been able to stop looking at this ring! Here it is below.
Years ago, I wrote this blog post inspired by the words of Sufi mystic and poet, Rumi: “Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.” I feel like this ring is yet another example of something I wanted but didn’t receive. I let it go. I moved on with my life. I appreciated what I was given.
Thirteen springs later, when I least expected it, I got my ring.
As a minister who specializes in soul-care, I am very aware of the place material items occupy in our lives. The ring, like the house, my clothes, my youth; they are all passing and are never the source of our joy.
At the same time, we are spiritual beings who move through this world with our physical bodies and senses. It’s fun to fill our lives with material items or sensory experiences that strike our fancy, for that is a part of what it means to be human. A gourmet meal, the smell of orange blossoms, a cute outfit, a stunning wedding ring—these can be pursued and enjoyed in our lifetimes, knowing they are not the end-all-be-all. Love is our ultimate end-all-be-all.
Let this reflection speak to you in the ways you need.
For those who want a little spring inspiration, reflect on how you want to renew areas of your life. And then, live your life! You never know what unexpected Easter eggs will pleasantly surprise you along the way.