I believe I’ve shared before that I hate being confused about big life situations. For a time, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life and it was excruciating for me to wait in the unknown. My husband makes fun of me because this plays out in minor areas of my life where I actually do have control. For instance, if I’m working through a really good book, I confess I skip to the end to find out what happens and then slowly finish the rest of the book without the discomfort of the unknown (don’t judge me). Or, when I was hooked on the Bachelor/Bachelorette for a while, I went to Reality Steve’s spoilers to find out the winners.
Yes, that’s me. I don’t like not knowing. Unfortunately, much of life consists of the journey and not the destination. So I’ve tried to loosen my grip a bit, trust in the process of life and trust that God is always guiding me.
At the same time, my deep yearnings to KNOW have compelled me to research a variety of decision-making methods. I have some posts here and here and I also teach a class on it here. I only gained these tools because I myself struggled to make decisions and needed as much help as I could get.
These tools have been immensely helpful for me because though I have become more okay with not knowing specific outcomes, I at least have a strong sense of my preferences, desires, and life vision, which help me to craft my life accordingly. Without knowing these things, I would be floundering in a mess of too many options.
I know some folks who change jobs every two years because they’re not quite sure what they want to do and they just hope that the next job will be better than before but usually, that’s not the case. I see a similar pattern with people in romantic relationships.
Hopping around isn’t a problem as is the lack of clarity on what it is we do ultimately want and pursuing that in the midst of hopping around. The clarity piece helps us from wasting our money and time and helps us to be much more intentional about where we’re hopping and why.
A recent example of this is that I was approached with a couple different career possibilities that were incredibly, incredibly enticing—so much so that I took a couple of days to seriously consider the opportunities. After careful pondering, I ended up saying no to all of them because I am crystal clear on what I want my life and career to look like and those opportunities, as enticing as they were, did not align with my ultimate track. Thus, my clarity helped me to save so much time, money and havoc down the road.
My clarity also helped me to recommit to my ultimate track by going back to my current priorities and infusing them with more energy and excellence.
I do want to note that when I say, “clarity,” I don’t necessarily mean the exact specifics, because usually, that doesn’t unfold for us until it unfolds in real time. And many times, how it unfolds surprises us greatly. What I mean by clarity is knowing the kind of things you want in your life (or career, relationship, etc.). For instance, you may not know the specifics of your dream career but you have pinpointed that you want it to be 1) creative 2) flexible 3) utilizes your love and knowledge of cooking, etc. Or you know that you want to be 1) in a big corporation with good benefits 2) with a large and supportive staff 3) specializing in your area of interest.
As you pinpoint the kind of things you want, those markers are then able to act as a litmus test for every other opportunity that comes your way as well as illuminate the action steps you need to take to enact your life vision.
Finally, you are also able to commit to your ultimate path vision and all of steps that are required to get to that vision—even if some of those steps are not the most ideal for you at the current moment. You are able to commit to them knowing that they are in service to your greater life vision.
So here’s what I leave with you today: move from confusion to clarity to commitment. And again, if you need resources to help you with the clarity piece, I recommend my class that incorporates imagination exercises and writing to your intuition. I will also be releasing a new workbook on discovering your calling and career so stay tuned for that.